I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I'm trying to figure out the long-term plan. Find my purpose. Work toward something bigger than what's on the burner right now. It's normal, to have these minor crisis of consciousness every now and again, isn't it? Rather than repeatedly tell myself that I'm going to start writing things down again (I really resent calling it "blogging"), here I am. Starting.
I gave this talk a few months ago to about 300 Jewish teens at a regional convention in Hartford, Conn. In it, I told them that I was a mess when I was their age. At the time, I was overweight. I wasn't happy with my body. Despite being president of that same youth group, seemingly having all my shit together and access to excellent opportunity, I look back on that time as a negative one. At the time, I didn't believe that I was capable of much, despite being in a position of power. I didn't believe in myself, because I wasn't happy with myself.
Statement: I am a work in progress. We all are, don't you think? While I don't know 100 percent what I'll be doing in 5 years (heck, 5 months), I know that I want to be satisfied when I reflect on it 15 years from now. I don't want to look back at this time, approaching my 30s, like I look back on my teenage years. I want to be fully present. I want to thrive in situations. I want to make genuine connections and build great things. As to what those things are? Well, I'm working to figure that out. I hope we can work on figuring that out together.